“Sorry, I can’t do then, I’m going for a run.” I told my friend.
“Ok, no problems, but er, Eliza, you don’t run, you jog.” She retorted.
Pfft. What was she talking about. I’m doing the MARATHON. That automatically makes me a Runner. One with a capital ‘R’.
Slightly perturbed by that seemingly offhand comment, I set off to prove her wrong. Although, come to think of it, what was the difference between running and jogging..? Several minutes later (damn you Google for your speedy knowledge access), I was left feeling rather frustrated and disgruntled as the realisation hit me. I was a blimmin’ jogger.
• Eats brown pasta and tuna (with no cheese!!!)
• Supposedly runs at a 9 minute/mile pace or less
• High intensity workout
• Wears sleek clothing with promises of ’thermo-stretch’, ‘micropolyamede’ and ‘high wick’
• If runners were an animal, they’d be a Secretary bird (they often prefer running to flying and are often nicknamed ‘the devil’s horse’ due to the crazy speeds they can run at)
• New to exercise
• Eats anything
• Moves faster than someone walking
• Low intensity workout
• Wears a baggy T-shirt and joggers
• If joggers were an animal, they’d be a penguin (in this case, the picture is of a Rockhopper. They can’t run, they can’t even really walk properly and they most certainly can’t fly. Basically, they’re shite at exercise.