A chance encounter with ‘Naked Steve’ started it all off. In his introductions at an ‘Arty Party’ he explained that a few weeks ago he’d been on an obstacle course style TV show and won £10,000. Later that even (slightly drunk) I looked up the show, which happened to be Total Wipeout and announced at work the next day that I was going to apply to be a contestant. ‘Yes, yes’, humoured my boss thinking it was just another hare-brained idea.
Off went the application form and on went my life…
..Until I got a rather random phonecall from Endemol on behalf of Total Wipeout asking me some questions. Before I knew it, I was auditioning in a Leisure Centre near South Ken wearing bright pink leggings, leg-warmers and slightly odd hair with several hundred other freaks. The most scary part was suddenly finding myself hanging off some monkey bars opposite another girl who was offhandedly doing pull-ups. I was struggling to manage one. This Total Wipeout business was hard work!
Then followed several more intensive first phone interviews until it got to the stage where they asked what dates I would be free. Ooh…
The next thing I knew, I was flying out on a plane with 19 other contestants and some bubbly Total Wipeout Crew on a ridiculously long journey to Buenas Aires.
It was an absolutely crazy crazy couple of days.
I can’t say too much about it so I’ve jotted down some Total Wipeout realisations below:
- There are some parts of Buenas Aires that you just shouldn’t go to
- If everyone else is part of an Olympic/ National team and you’re not, you’re the ones who have been chosen as the comedy contestants
- No matter what you say in your intro, you’ll come across sounding like a dick
- Sucker punches don’t hurt as much as they look
- If you lose a trainer in the mud pit say goodbye to it forever
- Steak in Argentina is good. The rest of the food is pretty average
- Suddenly all the things you never thought of as scary are suddenly pant-wettingly nightmarish (like heights)
- Everything breaks down in Argentina
- Amanda Byram is lovely