10 Days of Insanity

Shaun T, at the end of my 60 days, I will be queuing up to receive my set of abs.

I feel like after 2 months I will have thoroughly deserved them. I mean, look what I’ve gone through already:

• 2 buckets of sweat
• 14 pints of water
• 4 post workout bananas
• 2 bouts of grumpiness
• 26 moments of ‘give-uppness’
• 42 glances in the mirror to check on the non-existent abs
• 1 sore knee
• 1 visit to Holland & Barretts to think about getting a pot of glucosamine
• 6 soggy towels
• A roll of kitchen towel (when I couldn’t find a proper towel)

I mean, if you want to hand them over now, I won’t complain…

In addition to the above, there’s several things I’ve realized about the Insanity workout:

So much sweat

It still seems odd to me that I’m doing home workouts. Sweating this amount seems acceptable only in saunas. And yet, here I am dripping onto my lovely wooden floor and gasping like a gurnard. I am also acutely aware that there’s a hardware shop below and often whilst I’m trying to land as softly as possible during my frog jumps, I have a vision of their ceiling shaking ominously and bits of plaster lightly dusting their heads.

ShaunT is a sadist

And I absolutely mean this. He has a way of putting together moves and actions that feel like they’ve been constructed to cause the maximum amount of burn possible. He also manages to alter the workout a fraction when you’re least expecting it, adding on additional moves just when you think you’re on the home run towards post workout stretching.

Cleverly named workouts

Psychologically speaking, doing ‘basketball jumps’ instead of something like ‘crouching jumps’, and doing ‘mummy kicks’ instead of ‘shuffle feet and horizontal arms’ lend the exercises a certain kid of status. Basketball jumps make me feel like I’m doing training that basketball players do, rather than just randomly jumping like a fool.

The exercise that I always grin at is the Heisman. Not because of the actual moves, but because it reminds me of Heisenberg. Too much Breaking Bad perhaps?

Any results?

Yes, this is admittedly an Insanity review after only 10 days but I’m as demanding as Shaun T.

As much as I desperately try and ‘see’ the beginnings of abs, they don’t seem willing to make an appearance just yet. However, I did find the warm-up much more manageable and it was definitely a breakthrough that I could make it to the end. The rest of the workout was another story.

Regardless of any muscle definition that has or hasn’t shown its face, A week’s worth of Insanity has made me more aware of what I’m eating. It’s hard to get excited by the thought of a packet of crisps after an Insanity session – a fresh tomato salad or couscous salad, however… Who knows, along with Veganuary, this may be the start of a more mindful way of eating…

And guess what, I’ve also grown to like Superhuman Chick.